life goes on, of course… it’s at times like these when I realize how normal I feel most of the time… not normal like the same as other people, normal like not experiencing any sort of extraordinary emotion. I haven’t decided if it’s good or bad, but it’s certainly true that I seem to go about my business with little to no negative side effects related to the drama that can sometimes aflict a person (… but “drama” sounds condescending… like “oh, look at me, I am stoic and unwavering, impervious to life’s slings and arrorws that ‘you people’ deal with on a daily basis”… no, not like that at all…). that’s not to say that I don’t enjoy myself… quite the contrary. hmm… maybe the reason I don’t have a lot of negative action in my life right now is because it’s generally just pretty damn sweet. yeah, I’d say that’s a good possibility.
in any case, we had a nice long aim conversation the other night in which we both learned a good deal. It’s simultaneously amazing and surprising that two people that have communicated so much for so long could learn new things about each other that totally change how things lay out. the human condition fascinates me, and lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the basic problems of perception and understanding. I had a lot of wrong ideas about “us” that stem mostly from my own misinterpretation of information / events. my approach to understanding anything at all is fairly consistant, usually starting with observation followed by logical deductions. I know, what a goddamn nerd I am… maybe it sounds really cold and detached, and maybe it is… but it works really well for me… most of the time. but then, of course, there are always those things that completely defy logic. even going into consideration of such things, I’ll say to myself “okay, now you know this will probably not make any sense to you at all, right?”, but that doesn’t stop me from diving in headlong, or from feeling the burn of any of the results. I mean… if I only deallt in things I could understand completely, that would be pretty limiting, don’t you think?
I’m once again comfortable / happy with everything in my life. it’s certainly the way I prefer it :)