okay… *settles in*

So yeah, there’s more to this than meets the eye. I’d be remiss to just start writing without first taking some time out to really look around, get the lay of the land, etc…

With that in mind, I’m going to ease into this. I don’t know exactly what to expect from ‘the community’, or what is expected of me, really… I’m just gonna go with it, I guess :)

Actually, it’s pretty damn exciting, considering the things that have happened to me as a direct result of online acquaintances I’ve had in the past. This seems to be a really tight way to bring people together, so I’m interested to see what happens. I’ve always enjoyed any kind of forum that involves expository writing… nothing structured, really… just people telling each other whatever comes to their minds, with the ability for feedback. This seems to be less about “issues”, per se (ala usenet, etc), and instead focused directly on us, which is cool. There’s no question that people enjoy sharing their trials and tribulations with others, so I look forward to it :)

It’s a time of change yet again, after about 7 months of relative stability. To truly understand what I’m about, you sorta have to know how I got here… all of which is just a lot of stuff that there’s no way to really tackle in a single entry. Instead, I think I’ll just describe bits and pieces as I go along…

The encapsulated version goes as follows: I lived my life from the age of 3 on the west coast of Florida. Almost one year ago, after getting finished with some pretty fucked up shit (see the website), I managed to finally get out of Florida, after many many months of trying. I spent two weeks at my family’s home in Pennsylvania (they had moved there several years previous), then it was off to NYC to stay with some friends I had met online. The intention was to find a job and a place, but it didn’t quite work that way. For several reasons, I didn’t land a job… I’m pretty damn good at what I do, but I don’t have any degrees or certifications, and I was doing my job search all wrong anyway… After over a month and no job, I was just about to drag my ass back home when blackmagic, another of my online acquaintances, saved me. He flew me out to Seattle, put me up in his phat condo, and made a concerted effort to help me get a job. It was exactly what I needed. Not long after, I had a steady job, an apartment, and was generally having a great time enjoying Seattle and all its citizens.

Cut to about 9 months later, and you’ll find me without a solid ‘job’, per se… I do have some temporary contract work for another month or so, but after that it’s up in the air. I don’t look forward to finding work. I hate the job search, in fact, with every fiber of my being. I’m further discouraged after having just finished 7 months at a Big Company.

It finally happened, you see. That little bubble inside me that was so optimistic about the “real” world of technology, where people have “real money” to do “real business”… this is where all the good stuff has to happen, I thought. For about 4 years, I worked strictly in education and private consulting, so I knew nothing of what technology companies – or any other company, for that matter, is all about. Sure, they’re not all the same, but most are. The realization? Most of it is bullshit. Bullshit companies with bullshit internal politics and bullshit ideology. It was especially painful after having come from education and private consulting; both ventures in which I can see a real positive impact of my work, and can do it with other people that care about their jobs (i.e. they’re not in it for the money).

Even companies I respect fall prey to the bullshit factor. It’s a damn shame, but I guess that’s just the way it is. Many of the jobs that I previously considered badass would more likely than not be too much bullshit to be comfortable with. This time around, I’m gonna look for those ‘other’ jobs. I have no idea what yet, but I’m certainly not focusing myself on IT. I want to get back into something creative, something that can affect positive change… I don’t like the idea of spending lots of my time on anything that I don’t enjoy, and a stupid job is definitely not enjoyable. I dunno… perhaps I’m asking for too much here, but I’m quite sure there’s stuff out there that I could be doing, doing well, and having a good time (or at the very least, not loathing it). We’ll see.

Oh, and I have to move out of my apartment soon too. I’m fortunate, however, to have at least one very generous friend that has taken it upon himself to help me make the transition smoothly… my most sincere thanks, once again :)