So :) Last night was indeed a night of ample wackiness, just the way I like it ;) I gotta say, the roller coaster effect really makes things interesting. Perhaps the most impactful thing that happened to me occured while watching Nick At Night… I was just planted there on the couch, sort of stunned motionless by the television, when an episode of Family Ties came on. Now, I’m thinking young michael j fox, happy go lucky family values shit, comedy… you know, good ol’ fashioned family sitcom action. I was *way* off. Tina Yuthers fucked me right up. It was an episode where she starts to get all issue concscious… acutely aware of all the major problems in the world… polution, radiation, energy supplies, foods… everything. She gets all depressed when she realizes that there’s really no fix for any of it, so her parents try to get her to essentially snap out of it. Didn’t work, so they take her to the school conselor, who also becomes quite depressed after hearing all that she has to say – truly legitimite concerns. Everybody’s worried about her, but the whole point of the episode is that maybe she’s not the person having the problems… maybe it’s everybody else for essentially ignoring the fact that the world’s going to hell in a handbasket. So the half hour drags on, and I’m desperately hoping for some resolution…. but it never came! They just left me there, feeling like crap about all this stuff, sorta worried, feeling like my life is a farce.
Then some really stupid superficial commercials came on, and I just laughed and laughed and laughed at the irony. Additionally, being in the special state of mind that I was in, I was especially prone to considering such momumental ideas and letting them roll and swish around in my head… I came out of it thinking that it’s pretty sickening how people (or at least the media soup that we all consume) for the most part completely ignores things of importance, instead focusing on commercialism or some other selfish consideration. I began to think that perhaps I have very good reason to be depressed, just like Tina goddamn Yuthers – after all, there is a lot of fucked up shit going on. Is it not partly my responsibility to deal with it all?
I don’t know if it is or not, but I can tell you this much: whatever happens, whether we all incinerate ourselves in some world war or life continues as it is, or even perhaps the slim eventuality of world-wide equity being acheived, I’ll be smiling :) To dwell on the negative aspects of existance and think of only the problems that we have… well, that just plain sucks, because it’s a goddamn downer, and I prefer to be happy :)
Is this happiness acheived at the expense of not thinking about more “important” things? Am I essentially being ignorant to issues that I should be ever-mindful of? Maybe. Probably. So be it :) Maybe I’m a bastard for thinking this way… again, so be it.