We were talking about what the double auto biography will look like, and where we’d be right now. I like the idea of this being the start of chapter 1… meaning that up to now, this is just one lengthy prelude…<\/p>\n
that’s sorta supported by the somewhat fragmented nature of this relationship, and the odd order that we’ve experienced things. usually being physically proximate to someone is one of the contributing factors to knowing if you’re comfortable spending time with the person… we’ve gone without that for five years, when most people get it right when they meet. the little slices of time that we’ve been able to squeeze in over those years combined with the great wealth of communication that’s occured online has led me to believe that we would truly be happy with each other…. but until we could actually try it, I always had a hanging sense of anticipation and hope that it would someday all come together, that it would work out okay.<\/p>\n
I was confident that it would, but nothing is ever 100% (well… it wasn’t then, anyway ;). I would have waited as long as necessary, but I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though I thought that it must be there, and must be very bright indeed. I didn’t know if I’d make it “in time”… there was always the possibility of something else happening that would preclude the successful manifestation of our relationship into a healthy, normal, real-world (not long distance) relationship.<\/p>\n
of course, ‘someday’ finally came. there is no easy way to express the complete and overwhelming joy I feel right now :) how should one feel when a very long term plan works out better than ever anticipated? when something I’ve pined for for so long finally comes to pass… and it’s good… so good that I know with complete certainty that the waiting was totally worth it.<\/p>\n
never in my life have I felt so much in such a short time. I think I amazed even myself with my capacity for love, which flows from me unhindered by *anything*… the love is not new, but the ability to be in the same physical space to express it is quite new. just to look into her eyes for more than 5 seconds at a time because somebody is watching (we had to be self conscious because we weren’t really allowed to be together… rather stressful way to spend the little time we did have, but all that’s over now :)…. we just did whatever we wanted, with 6 days to spend and a great pad lent to us by a good friend of her<\/a>‘s. and of course, when you’re with someone for extended periods that is the focus of your attention, a lot of really great things happen in terms of perception and communication and understanding…<\/p>\n it really was the best week… for both of us :) I’m left with the certainty that we’ll continue to be very happy with each other… I don’t see any ceiling on this thing :)<\/p>\n more later…<\/p>\n -dre<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We were talking about what the double auto biography will look like, and where we’d be right now. I like the idea of this being the start of chapter 1… meaning that up to now, this is just one lengthy … Continue reading